It has been many days since Whiskey and Tom talked.
Many days where Ironing Board did nothing but fretfully wonder about his future as a blog post character.
Many days where Virgin media Super Hub continued his life of heroic but unfulfilling deeds.
In those days Tom and Whiskey had drifted apart, the busy work load and hectic schedules of the two acquaintances had kept them apart. It was a dark time, a chuckle-less time and the whiskey tumbler was empty and dry. Things looked bleak...
TOM enters. He looks around the blog, blowing some dust of the pageviews.
TOM: I'm going to miss this.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Hmm, what?
WHISKEY CHUCKLES is led underneath a pile of discarded apps and backdated GIFs. He turns to face TOM.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Warra' you want?
TOM: I was just picking up some fonts and then leav- Are you, are you drunk?
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Maybees... May-Bees. May bees... light your way home Tim.
TOM: How are you drunk? You're made of Whiskey!
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: I don't have a face!!!
TOM: Look let's get these GIFs off you.
TOM peels off the memes and the built up spam.
TOM: There we go much better.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: I durand to know why you're in my house! Mister... Man!
TOM: I was just goi-
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: I Duran Durand!
TOM: What's Durand?
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: They sing the songs. They sung a song about Rio...
TOM: Yeah ok Duran Duran I get it. But I was just getting out of here.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Her naaaaaaame is Rio and they caaaaaaall him Ferdinand!
TOM: I think that's the wrong, no that's definitely the wrong Rio.
IRONING BOARD: (from off-page) Whiskey? Whiskey are you singing again?
IRONING BOARD enters.
IRONING BOARD: Tom. Hello there.
TOM: Hi.
IRONING BOARD: It's been a while.
TOM: Yeah, look how long has he been like this?
IRONING BOARD: Well let's see, you left on the 10th Septmeber. We were ok for a week or so and then he just started drinking himself dry. I've been trying to get him to take on a new case, a new interview but he won't do it without you.
TOM: Really?
IRONING BOARD: He can't function unless you type. Without interest and creativity he's just another forgotten corner of the internet. We're another forgotten corner of the internet.
Pause
TOM: I'm sorry, I've just had a lot to do recently and-
IRONING BOARD: How much time does it take to post for us? Really.
TOM: 10 - 15 minutes I suppose.
IRONING BOARD: Well, I think you know how little I'm asking for then.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Has anyone actually SEEN a lemur? Are they, are, they're like folk tales. They're a folky myth. I think they're a folk myth.
IRONING BOARD: Don't leave him like this.
TOM: Ok. You're right. It's time I breathed some life into this again. First things first we need to sober Whiskey up.
IRONING BOARD: How?
TOM retypes something.
COFFEE CHUCKLES: Hoooooooooooleeeeeeeeeeeeeee ****. ARGH! OWWWWW!! What the hell man!?
TOM: How do you feel?
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Like Nescafe just did a dump in my brain, cheers!
TOM: Well he's back to normal. Guess we better do a post.
IRONING BOARD: Don't worry Tom. You just did.
