: Err hi.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Hey
TOM: So you're my blog?
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: That's me. Look are all of your posts going to be like this?
TOM: Yeah, I think. It's sort of a thing I like to do. A signature style. Like you know certain killers have an M.O.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Wait, you're a killer?!
TOM: No, no, no I mean like a trope or a method.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: A trope? What the hell's a trope? Do you kill people with your trope?
TOM: NO! I don't kill people, with or without tropes! Oh come on you're meant to be MY blog and you don't even know what a trope is? Never mind, I feel like we should maybe get to know each other a little bit.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Ok, well I'm Whiskey Chuckles, which you know because you just named me. Dumbass.
TOM: Hey, woah! Why with the attitude?
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Why with the attitude? You've made me sound like a freakin' hobo-clown hybrid!
TOM: Look I like whiskey and it sounds like I have taste, and I also like comedy so...
TOM stares at the screen, at the blog's name.
Long pause
TOM: Damn it, it does sound like a hobo-clown!
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Thank you! Look just let's run with it, maybe it'll catch on.
TOM: Ok, ok so you're my new blog which every now and again I will post on in the form of conversations between myself and something of interest.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: So you're going to talk to inanimate objects?
Tom: Yes. No! Well... yes I am. Why do I get the feeling you're squinting at me in a sceptical fashion?
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: I'm totally squinting at you in a sceptical fashion.
Pause
TOM: I'm not sure I like you.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Yeah well get used to it. So who are you? All I know is that you're a killer who drinks whiskey and stabs or burns people with tropes.
TOM: Oh for crying out loud! I'm not a killer; yes I drink whiskey once in a while and a trope is a... it's a literary thing.
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: A literary thing?
Tom: Wait, I need to Wikipedia it...
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: You've got to be kidding.
Tom returns after a brief search.
TOM: Yeah it's a literary thing.
Whiskey Chuckles: Great work detective. So just for any potential readers out there, how about we sum this misguided conversation up?
TOM: Good idea. Ok so as a writer-
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: You're a writer now?!
TOM: Shut up! As a writer I like to make characters and in the past I've had some fairly bizarre but amusing mock-conversations with characters I've imagined in the past. So in an attempt to do something creative with this nonsensical ability I've decided to create a blog where you'll find comedic discussions between me and perhaps an ironing board-
IRONING BOARD: Ooooo, am I on the internet now?
TOM: And many other things including books, films, games, foods, television and maybe even random objects that people wish to have interviewed. So please give it a read as I'm totally new to blogging but would like to really give it a go. Cheers.
Pause
WHISKEY CHUCKLES: Has anyone checked this guy's history?
